sacrifices.

today i sat on my motorcycle as the engine warmed up. i looked up at the evening sky and watched some clouds drift by as they started to turn pale orange with the setting sun. i realized that i had gone for the past year without stopping and smelling the roses. the past couple of seasons have been nothing but business. money. business. money. money. money. i've completely missed out on the simple things that at one time i took pleasure in. it feels like a meaningless existence. the only time i ever open my eyes and enjoy the world around me is when i'm on my bicycle. i forget about work and think about the road in front of me. the trees and houses i pass. the sound of the chain passing through the 20-year-old suntour derailleur. the feel of cork tape. it is the only peaceful time in my life these days.

there certainly are sacrifices in business ownership, and i knew that going into it, but at what point does it become not worth it? next thing i'll know i'll be 35 and married with a kid on the way and the last 5 years will be a blur of bills, taxes, and sleepless night. i do not want that. i do not want to become a person whose only motivation in life is money. i've always said that i'd never be that person but here i am becoming just that. it's a road i'd rather not pedal down.

the first rule of business is "pay yourself", and seeing as though i do not have any money, maybe that means "make your life worthwhile". time moves fast these days and and life is getting shorter. i made a promise to myself to play in a pile of leaves this year and i intend to do it.